Excuse me answering this so late...one of those things which I meant to get around to at some point.
I lost my physical virginity to a guy who was perfectly all right, but wasn't as "special" as I hoped it would be. After sex with him...I didn't have straight sex with anyone else for a long time. As much as RFine has been discussed, in some ways I lost my emotional, and arguably due to erection problems in Transformer's Boy, physical virginity to him. But then again, by that point I very much didn't have a "virgin" mindset, indeed, part of the appeal with RFine was the fact that I was taking him for the first time, going at his initial pace, though, in reality, we probably had equal sexual experience.
I think when it comes to sex and teens, there seems to be this idea that sex is this brilliant, wonderful thing which takes one from feeling inadequate and young to confident and knowledgeable. Certainly the constant couples during high-school may have added to this image. But in reality, instead of making one feel more adequate (or desirable, in my case, but that's a whole different kettle of fish) and knowledgeable, it just opens up a whole new area for one to feel uncertain and silly about. I would certainly agree with your point that "the idea of "saving yourself" till you find someone you think you're going to spend the rest of your love life with is lovely and romantic and sweet, don't these people worry what may happen if they are not sexually compatible?" Well, I suppose that ignorance is bliss in some ways. As annoyingly worthy as this will make me sound, pretty much every sexual experience I have teaches me something new not only about human nature, but the social and physical aspect to us in a sped up way that simply being around people without asking them to compromise themselves in a way normal interaction doesn't require (like getting naked. Naked men look funny, but then again, we all look funny naked.)Not saying we should all have sex to become better people, but in my incredibly limited experience, sexual incompatibility is rarely just about the sex.
Which is a point which is disappointingly absent from much sex education. Not all sex can be a mind-blowing, live changing event which leaves you too dizzy to walk ten minutes afterwards, but I would argue that one truly loses' one's virginity after your first orgasm rather than when someone penetrates you. I think orgasm certainly is the new experience, new "language" which isn't necessarily experienced before sex.
TL;DR - Orgasms are good.
I lost my physical virginity to a guy who was perfectly all right, but wasn't as "special" as I hoped it would be. After sex with him...I didn't have straight sex with anyone else for a long time. As much as RFine has been discussed, in some ways I lost my emotional, and arguably due to erection problems in Transformer's Boy, physical virginity to him. But then again, by that point I very much didn't have a "virgin" mindset, indeed, part of the appeal with RFine was the fact that I was taking him for the first time, going at his initial pace, though, in reality, we probably had equal sexual experience.
I think when it comes to sex and teens, there seems to be this idea that sex is this brilliant, wonderful thing which takes one from feeling inadequate and young to confident and knowledgeable. Certainly the constant couples during high-school may have added to this image. But in reality, instead of making one feel more adequate (or desirable, in my case, but that's a whole different kettle of fish) and knowledgeable, it just opens up a whole new area for one to feel uncertain and silly about. I would certainly agree with your point that "the idea of "saving yourself" till you find someone you think you're going to spend the rest of your love life with is lovely and romantic and sweet, don't these people worry what may happen if they are not sexually compatible?" Well, I suppose that ignorance is bliss in some ways. As annoyingly worthy as this will make me sound, pretty much every sexual experience I have teaches me something new not only about human nature, but the social and physical aspect to us in a sped up way that simply being around people without asking them to compromise themselves in a way normal interaction doesn't require (like getting naked. Naked men look funny, but then again, we all look funny naked.)Not saying we should all have sex to become better people, but in my incredibly limited experience, sexual incompatibility is rarely just about the sex.
Which is a point which is disappointingly absent from much sex education. Not all sex can be a mind-blowing, live changing event which leaves you too dizzy to walk ten minutes afterwards, but I would argue that one truly loses' one's virginity after your first orgasm rather than when someone penetrates you. I think orgasm certainly is the new experience, new "language" which isn't necessarily experienced before sex.