update

Firstly, thankyou for all the birthday messages and good wishes I have recieved over the past couple of days. It feels a bit odd being 21, certainly signifcantly older than being 20, but I seem to be coping well so far...

secondly, thankyou for all the kind words over my recent spate of particulalry gloomy entries on here. I'm really, genuinley greatful. Hopefully, the moaning should lessen soon as I am about to go back in to therapy (mother's idea, not mine). Tomorrow I#m off for an assessment at 311, the local "youth support service", which I haven;t been to since I was about 17. Also, my mood should hopefully be lifted by my impending trip to Brighton!

I haven't actually been back to the coast since I all the uni drama-rama nearly 2 years ago. But there are people there I miss (particualrly the girl i'm staying with, whom I haven't seen for over a year and a half). I miss the actual place to: the delicatly winding streets, the quirky little vegan cafes, the way that every other business seems to be either a sweet shop or a sex shop (or both). I am a bit worried about what it will be like being back in a place that holds so many memories for me, though. It's goign to sound ridiculous, but i still have a moment of panic every time I hear a seagull. But it will be good for me to push my comfort zone, plus London is driving me nuts at the moment, I need a change of scenery, even if it's just for a few days.

This Friday, I'm going to Ally's carboard warriors party (note to self: need to make costume tomorrow) on bristol, than hopefully somehow get back to london in time for lauren's picnicm then politely excuse myself in time to make to Staybeautiful (officially part 2 of my birthday celebration), then go to the stay beaut picnic the next day. Phew, I feel knackered just thinking about it all...

Am trying to forget about the boy. After I got back form the club where I saw him with that other girl, I unfortunately did some ill-advised drunken texting, and now i'm afraid I've lost his friendship. Still, must remembered that he is only human, still flawed, that fact he appeals to me, somone 9 years younger than him, is a sign of his immaturity...


Toodles xxx