(no subject)

Marrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. Missed Media for the second time in a row this morning. Wouldn't be so bad normally (Mr Royden's lessons tend to be 10-15% useful learning stuff and 85-90% wittering about nothing in particular), but he's doing our predicted grades this week, so missing two lessons probably wasn't the most sensible ting in the world. But I was just feeling so shit after what happened this morning (and so very VERY tired- insomnia strikes again), that I just couldnt face going in so early. Particularly as my media class contains the people who I was ranting about a few entries ago, and who are still cheerfully oblivious to quite how much they've wrecked my studies.


Oh, Why am I such a bloody fuck-up? Always, always, always, I can never seem to do anything right. And its always the people who I care about most who I seem to piss off. Please, I dont know whether its my fault or thiers (probably a bit of both), but this is doing my head in. If you value something, why would you let it slip away so easily? Am I really that disposeable? Well, yes, I probably am, actuallly. Maybe I should just hide my self away until I've developed some kind of redeeming quality. Until Im somewhere near loveable again. If I was ever to start off with.

Arrgh, shut up, Soph. SHUT UP